Just Be: Dementia, Life, and Death

 Beth Malone, in her TedTalk titled "How my dad's dementia changed my idea of death (and life)," discusses the phases of her feelings towards death in regards to her dad's frontotemporal lobe dementia diagnosis.

Her initial feelings towards her father life or death were that she was going to kill her dad. Not because he had done anything wrong, but she felt as if the quality of life that he was living was not one that he would have wanted. She saw his body as the torture device that was inhibiting him from living how he would have wanted. This then made her long for discussions about death while everyone was healthy. After realizing that she could not actually kill her dad, she began to seek guidance. Many people told her that often times people who are ready to die hold on for their family members, so she should tell him that they are all okay and he can go if he needs to. When she did to go tell her dad that, she had an experience with him that led her to the realization that she is not responsible for her dad. She is his daughter and keeping that role is all she needs to do.

My major take away from this TedTalk is that dementia diagnoses affect more than just the people who have it. I feel like this is said often, but hearing it from someone who is experiencing it first hand is a very different perspective than a textbook. I think that as an OT, we should focus on care-giver education and support. One of these ways could be by initiating or suggestion important conversations about quality of life while the person is still able to.

One of my grandmother's sisters has Alzheimer's dementia, and when she chooses to talk about it, I can tell it takes a little bit of a toll; however, it is not a topic that comes up often. Because of my little experience and insight, I chose to look into this topic so I could have more insight as to how it affects families. I also think this is important information to now as a future OT since it is a diagnosis that can be frequently seen.

Malone, B. (2017, June). How my dad’s dementia changed my idea of death (and life)[Video]. https://www.ted.com/talks/beth_malone_how_my_dad_s_dementia_changed_my_idea_of_death_and_life#t-414408